The world is inherently good. People are generally human and empathetic; I have found that most people respond to authenticity and honesty with empathy and compassion.
So, when folks are negative or rude, it’s that much more shocking and disruptive. Doesn’t it require infinitely more energy and planning to be malicious or nasty? Who has the time or headspace for this? Does thrill or pleasure accompany the sting and adrenaline you impart?
I’ve been accused of wearing rose-colored glasses. Of being too trusting. Of being dishonest. Of changing. Of being too nice. Too accepting. Too independent. Too reactionary. Too decisive.
And each time, I’m caught off guard. Am I alone in putting my head down and going to work? I will admit that when my mind is set, I do try to stay on focus, because once I make a decision, why not take action? (Have you heard the expression “Time only grows hair”?) I believe that if I work hard, genuinely try to do the right thing when given a choice, if I choose kindness as a default and apologize when I screw up, I’m fulfilling my duty as a human being.
That’s it. I truly believe that’s the deal.
You don’t have to leave the world a better place than you found it. You don’t have to cure cancer. You just have to not be an asshole. Because, like smoking in an elevator,it impedes others’ freedoms. What’s really cool about this treaty is that if you slip up, all you have to do is go back to not being an asshole.
Folks who have loftier goals are free to pursue them. Those who long to make an impact are encouraged to do so. Anyone wanting to check the only required boxes: birth, taxes, death has that right.
If you have $100, I’ll give you recommendations on how I believe it would be best spent, just ask me. Or if I’m feeling passionate, I may even try to persuade you into a particular investment. However, at the end of the day, it’s your money. Spend it how you wish.
Life is like that. Spend it doing what makes you happy while trying to abide by the treaty. Realize that sometimes your happiness conflicts with someone else’s happiness, and that is an uncontrollable. (Is it expected that you sacrifice yourself for another?) I believe the doctor of life-ology would advise that you be as gentle and swift as possible and assume that we are all here doing the best that we can.
Let’s clean the slate. Let’s assume that everyone has the best of intentions. Let’s assume that no one has ulterior motives, other than seeking joy and rejoicing in the time we have on this planet. Let’s change our default position to kind and trusting.
Similar to following the rules of Hoyle in cards, I believe that if you stay consistent, you will win more than you will lose. If the guy to your right takes your face card when he should have “stayed,” know that it wasn’t a personal attack. He or she may be a novice or finding their way.
Let’s renew faith in each other, remove expectations and judgements of others, and choose kind. The clock is ticking for all of us, and spending energy on anything else is frankly wasteful. The ripple effect of “nasty” is exponential, and unfortunately, time wasted hurt or angry cannot be reversed. All we can do is minimize it and move forward.
If you aren’t happy, you are cheating yourself. If you are deliberately stealing someone else’s happiness/time, I consider it a crime and a smack in the face to those who are time-impoverished.
Dear anyone / everyone I know (or have ever been in contact with):
I forgive you. I want you to be happy and I wish you success in however you opt to spend your time here on earth. Whether you feed the pigeons, cure progeria, help me to meet my goals or just float along checking your three boxes, I hope you are smiling. I mean it.
Please forgive me as well.
Love on. 💕